The Silent Battles Everyone Faces. Every Smile Has a Story
A Story of Perspective and Empathy
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey shares a beautiful story like this:
A man is on the subway with three kids, and they are energetic. They run up and down that train, causing total mayhem.
They laughed loudly, crashed into other passengers and the children had their feet on seats of chairs, ignoring the expected social norms, much to the dismay of the other travellers.
The children had become even louder, and their voices bounced down the train.
Their tiny, thumping feet travelled to and from one side of the car.
The journey started very calmly, but tension mounted as time passed and the enclosed space grew hot.
Passengers in their seats shifted, eyes squinting with anger.
The father, meanwhile, was sitting quietly to himself and appeared lost in his own world, as if he had blanked out the screaming coming from either side of him.
The crowd began to buzz with whispers as passengers murmured amongst themselves, openly chiding the father for not keeping his misbehaving kids in check.
“Why has he not taken action”? one passenger murmured.
Another, incredulous: “He’s just sitting there, letting them rampant.”
But the father’s indifference to what was happening enraged them more than everything else. How can a man sit there and not react in any way?
One of them eventually couldn’t take it anymore.
The man took a deep breath, spoke politely, and asserted to the father.
“Sir, please control your kids,” he fumed in a contained manner, “Sorry, sir. They’re disrupting everyone here.”
Everyone looked at the man, and they waited for his response to do something that would end all this fuss.
The man, as if suddenly waking from a trance, looked up and said,
“Oh, I’m sorry. I am sorry. I should do something about that. We just came from the hospital where their mother died an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.”
In that single moment, the mood inside the train shifted. Frustration and anger were replaced with deep understanding and sympathy.
Story Of a Father and His Adult Son
There is another incident that echoes this message.
A 24-year-old young man sat by the window on a train, his eyes wide with wonder as he took in the world speeding by outside.
Pressing his face against the glass, he was filled with excitement, bubbling over as he exclaimed,
“Dad, look! The trees are going behind us!” His voice was loud, filled with childlike joy, even though he was a grown man.
Sitting beside him, his father smiled warmly but said nothing, letting his son marvel at the world passing by.
Nearby, a young couple observed the scene, exchanging glances of confusion and discomfort.
They silently wondered why a grown man was behaving so childishly. “He’s an adult,” they thought, “Why is he acting like a little boy?”.
Moments later, the boy’s enthusiasm flared again. “Dad, look! The clouds are running with us!”
His voice echoed through the train car, drawing more glances from the other passengers.
The couple, unable to contain their discomfort, leaned toward the father.
With a mix of sympathy and quiet judgment, the man from the couple said, “Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor?”
The father, still smiling, turned to the couple and responded with calm patience.
“I did,” he said softly. “Today, we were finally discharged from the hospital after what felt like an eternity — a long, painful journey through endless treatments and a complicated surgery.”
“You see, my son… he was born blind. For twenty-four years, he has lived in darkness. But today… today, he got his eyes. For the first time, he can see the world.”
At that moment, the couple froze, the weight of his words sinking in.
Lessons Learned: The Power of Perspective
These two stories emphasize the importance of shifting our perspective — a “paradigm shift,” as Stephen Covey describes it.
We often rush to judge others based on what we see without understanding the full story behind their actions.
But as these stories show, things are not always what they seem.
Behind the behaviours that frustrate or seem unusual, there are often hidden struggles, deep sorrows, or personal challenges that we cannot immediately see.
The lessons we learn from these stories teach us to approach others with empathy, understanding, and kindness.
Everyone carries their burdens, battles, and sorrows, and it is easy to misjudge them when we don’t know the full context.
In both stories, the behaviours that seemed disruptive were, in reality, responses to profound life events — grief and the wonder of new sight.
Instead of judging others hastily, we should pause, reflect, and offer compassion, for everyone is fighting a battle we cannot see.
As the saying goes,
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
“Don’t judge others because they sin differently than you.”
