How to Control Your Emotions? – Power of Not Reacting.
Do Not React! Think And Respond
Mastering Emotional Control: The Art of Thoughtful Response
I am an experienced technocrat with about 50 years of professional experience as a senior engineer, manager, and leader in various senior leadership positions.
Throughout my career, I have had the privilege of closely interacting with national leaders, business tycoons, and enterprise heads.
Over the years, one of the most valuable lessons I have learned is the art of controlling emotions and responding thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively.
This lesson has proven to be paramount not only in the business world but also in personal life.
In my early career, I often witnessed how knee-jerk reactions led to unnecessary conflicts and poor decision-making.
Whether it was handling a challenging project, leading a diverse team, or facing high-pressure situations, I gradually realized that success depends on the ability to pause, think, and respond with clarity rather than emotion.
This shift in mindset transformed my approach to leadership and decision-making, helping me build stronger relationships and achieve long-term success.
Emotional control is a skill that requires practice and patience.
It allows us to navigate life’s challenges calmly and composedly, ensuring that our actions align with our goals and values. This realization led me to explore various methods of emotional control, from mindfulness techniques to thoughtful communication strategies.
The importance of not reacting impulsively is beautifully illustrated in the following popular story:
A King’s Visit to the Wise Kingdom
Let me tell you a very popular story. Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a prosperous country. One day, he decided to visit the neighbouring kingdom.
He had heard that the king of that neighbouring kingdom was famous for his wisdom. When the king arrived, he was welcomed with great honour. The king of the neighbouring kingdom had prepared a grand feast in his honour.
Meeting a Wise King
During the feast, the king noticed a fly in his soup. He was disgusted and ordered his servant to bring him another bowl of soup.
The wise king of the neighbouring kingdom saw this and said, “Your Majesty, please do not be angry. It was just a small fly. It does not matter.”
A Lesson in Emotion Control
The king replied, “I cannot tolerate such things. Even a small fly can ruin my mood.”
The king of the neighbouring kingdom smiled and said, “Your Majesty, allow me to give you a piece of advice. It is not the fly that ruined your mood but your reaction to it.”
“You have the power to control your emotions. Do not let them control you.” The king realised the wisdom in these words and returned to his kingdom.
Practicing Emotional Composure
From that day onwards, he started practicing the art of not reacting to situations that would previously trigger his emotions. He found that he was able to maintain his composure in challenging situations, and he was able to make better decisions. The power of not reacting is an important lesson for all of us.
Why Emotional Control is Important
We often react to situations without thinking, and this can lead to negative consequences. Reacting to situations with anger and frustration can damage our relationships with others and hinder our ability to make clear-headed decisions.
However, it is important to understand that not reacting does not mean that we should suppress our emotions.
Emotions are a natural part of our human experience, and it is important to acknowledge them. Instead of reacting impulsively, we should take the time to process our emotions and respond thoughtfully.
Michael’s Journey to Emotional Control
In another part of the world, there lived a young man named Michael.
Michael was a very emotional person and he often reacted impulsively to situations that upset him. He would get angry and say hurtful things which would lead to arguments and hurt feelings. One day, Michael decided to take control of his emotions.
Practicing Mindfulness
He knew that his impulsive reactions were causing more harm than good, and he wanted to change. He started practising mindfulness and meditation, which helped him become more aware of his thoughts and emotions. He also started practising the heart of not reacting.
Whenever he found himself in a situation that would normally trigger his emotions, he would take a step back and take a few deep breaths. He would then assess the situation calmly and respond thoughtfully. At first, it was difficult for Michael to control his emotions.
He would still get angry and frustrated, but he would take a step back and not react impulsively. As he continued practising, he found controlling his emotions easier. Michael also noticed that his relationships with others improved.
He no longer got into arguments and hurt people’s feelings. Instead, he was able to communicate calmly and thoughtfully, which helped him build stronger relationships.
Offering Wisdom to a Friend
One day, Michael’s friend came to him for advice. His friend was going through a difficult time and was feeling very upset. Michael listened to his friend’s problems and offered words of comfort and support. His friend thanked him and said, “You always know just what to say.”
“You never get angry or upset.” Michael smiled and replied, “it’s not that I never feel angry or upset. It’s just that I’ve learned to control my emotions and not let them control me”.
“It’s a powerful tool that has helped me improve my relationships and my overall well-being.” Michael’s friend was impressed and asked him how he learned to control his emotions. Michael shared his experience with mindfulness and the power of not reacting.
He encouraged his friend to try it out for himself and his friend was grateful for the advice. Over time, Michael became known for his calm and thoughtful demeanor. He was able to handle difficult situations with ease and people admired him for his strength and resilience.
He continued to practice mindfulness and the art of not reacting and he found that it brought him a sense of inner peace and happiness. The power of not reacting is a valuable lesson that we can all learn from. It takes practice and patience, but the rewards are well worth it.
By controlling our emotions, we can improve our relationships, make better decisions and live a more fulfilling life. The moral of the story of the King and Michael teaches us that we have the power to control our emotions. We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it.
By practicing mindfulness and the art of not reacting, we can learn to control our emotions and respond thoughtfully. Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can help us improve our relationships, our well-being, and our overall quality of life. So, let us take the time to practice and cultivate this powerful skill and let it transform our lives for the better.
The Dangers of Holding onto Anger
Anger will never disappear as long as thoughts of resentment are cherished. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.
He who holds back rising anger like a rolling chariot hears the call for a real driver. Other people are but holding the reins. Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
One who conquers himself is more excellent than another who conquers a thousand times a thousand on the battlefield.
Do not be led by your reactions. Be led by your actions.
Peace comes from within.
In a controversy, the instant we feel anger, we have already ceased striving for the truth and have begun striving for ourselves. The mind is everything.
What you think you become. You will not be punished for your anger. Your anger will punish you.
The root of suffering is attachment. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
Compassion and Letting Go Lead to Happiness
Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If in our heart we still cling to anything, anger, anxiety or possessions, we cannot be free. Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace.
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. Respond, don’t react. Respond with reason, not emotion.
True Happiness Comes from Within
In the end, only free things matter, no matter how much you love, how gently you live, or how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. He who experiences the unity of life sees his self in all beings and all beings in his self and looks on everything with an impartial eye. Happiness never decreases by being shared.
Our thoughts shape us. We become what we think. Do not dwell in the past.
Do not dream of the future. Concentrate the mind on the present moment. Three things cannot be long hidden.
The sun, the moon and the truth.
The only way to find true happiness is to let go of your attachment to things and people. The mind is everything, what you think you become.
Wisdom Thoughts for Emotional Control
It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that loses him to evil ways. An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea. There is no fire like passion.
There is no fire like hatred. There is no snare-like folly. There is no torrent like greed.
What we think we will become, all that we are, arises from our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
If you want to fly, you must give up what weighs you.
If you want to change the world, change yourself first.
Happiness is not something ready-made; it comes from your own actions.
The trouble is you think you have time. The mind is like water. When it’s turbulent, it isn’t easy to see through. When it’s calm, everything becomes clear.
The tongue is like a sharp knife and kills without drawing blood.
Purity or impurity depends on oneself. No one can purify another.
Let us rise and be thankful. If we didn’t learn much today, at least we learned a little. And if we didn’t learn a little, we didn’t get sick. And if we got ill, at least we didn’t die. So, let us all be thankful.
The only absolute failure in life is not to be true to what one knows best.
The past is already gone. The future is not yet here. There’s only one moment for you to live.
To be idle is a short road to death, and to be diligent is a way of life. Foolish people are idle, and wise people are diligent.
Hatred does not cease by hatred but only by love.
This is the eternal rule. Whatever a monk keeps pursuing with his thinking and pondering becomes the inclination of his awareness.
Do not dwell in the past. Do not dream of the future. Concentrate the mind on the present moment. The mind is everything.
What you think you become. Do not look for a sanctuary in anyone except yourself. The only way to do great work is to love what you do.
If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.
The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling but in rising every time we fall. No one saves us but ourselves. No one can, and no one may.
We ourselves must walk the path.
Thank You For Reading
