The Giraffe in the Room: Leadership Is More Than Just You
Leadership Pitfall: The Illusion of Control
The Leadership Illusion: Success Is Never a Solo Act
Having spent over 50 years in management and leadership roles in a high-tech organisation like a space research centre, I’ve learned a thing or two about authentic leadership. When I was younger, I used to think that success was all about my ideas and decisions.
But over the years, I realized that leadership isn’t just about you – it’s about the people around you, their efforts, and how you bring them together to achieve something more significant.
Looking back, I see how important it is to step back, appreciate the team, and understand that success is always a shared effort.
Here, I want to share some of my lessons, hoping they’ll help you avoid the common trap of taking all the credit and instead focus on building a team that thrives together.
Leadership and Control
Leaders need self-belief. Successful leaders have self-confidence that gives them an unshakeable belief in their ability to rise above anything, conquer every difficulty, and lead those who follow through any situation necessary for success.
Like the wise old Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you are right!”
Self-belief is when leaders know they will win, no matter how overwhelming the task seems. Although this is an impressive attribute, it also has a significant downside: the confidence trick.
Leaders feeling invincible might start to think they have their hands on the wheel of every victory and, for that matter, any all-around good fortune. They might say to themselves, “I did that,” or, “It happened because of me.”
The reality is that true leaders understand their victories are almost always a team effort, thanks to the support of dedicated employees and partners who all benefit from how systems have been laid out.
The Tall Guy Who Kept the Giraffes Out
In his book The Art of Thinking Clearly, Rolf Dobelli tells a tale that perfectly captures the illusion.
Every day, a man wearing a yellow shirt and red hat would stand at the busy traffic intersection.
He vigorously waved his hat for ten minutes, then dropped out of sight. A police officer eventually grew suspicious and asked: “What the hell are you doing here?”
To this, the man said, “I’m keeping “the giraffes away!”
“None you can see”, the bewildered policeman replied, “there are no giraffes around here.”
“See! I’m doing such a good job!” the man, very proud of himself, answered.
As amusing as this story is, it teaches us a deeper lesson—especially leaders. These leaders, like our man at the traffic junction, believe that everything around them is the result of their actions.
We chuckle at the ridiculousness of this story, but how many times do we see leaders take credit for success when they had little or nothing to do with the outcome?
Leadership Illusion of control
Leaders tend to overestimate their individual contribution towards team success.
While it’s easy to laugh at the absurdity of the above story, it’s equally important to reflect on how often we see leaders fall into the same trap — claiming responsibility for every success, even when there is no real connection between their actions and the outcome.
When things go well, they might quickly attribute the outcome to their decision-making or leadership style, even if the success resulted from teamwork, external factors, or sheer luck.
Whether based on insecurity, recognition or even a control issue.
Yet real leadership is about seeing the bigger picture. Life improves, but it does not improve equally in all respects, and sometimes, it has nothing to do with your actual behaviours.
Warren Bennis got it right: “Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality. — Warren Bennis
It is about empowering others to contribute to your vision rather than taking credit for everything and letting one person overshadow the contributions of an entire group.
How To Stop Believing in The Illusion of Control
If you (or the leaders above and around you) are stuck in this illusion of control, it is past time to STOP! Below are four approaches that you can use, which, while very small, will allow you to lead from the back and see life through the power of perspective.
1. Realizing That You Cannot Control Everything
Maturity in leadership—One of the signals that you have matured as a leader is realizing and accepting that nothing happens only according to your plan. Leaders who want control over everything in their business can often spend a lot of time, effort, and resources doing things that ultimately do not make much difference.
You do not need to show that you are in power for everything. Yet controlling it all can become micromanagement, diminish creativity, and kill team morale.
Surrendering control helps create a place where your team can learn to take responsibility and participate actively on the larger canvas.
In the words of leadership expert John C. Maxwell, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way.”
You are there to guide, not micromanage.
2. Break Away from Tradition
One of the most dangerous mindsets that leaders can have is thinking. I appreciate tradition, but it cannot be an excuse to keep doing something that no longer works in the world we live in now.
As a leader, you have to be prepared to rock the boat and keep up with it. If you are still waving your symbolic red hat even though it is no longer useful, stop doing so. Accept new ideas and points of view, and do not hesitate to get rid of old-school strategies.
As Steve Jobs put it, — “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.”
Innovation often hinges on a willingness to let go of your old ways when they no longer benefit the best interests of your organization.
3. Let Go of the Need for Credit
A good Leader can share his likings without being insecure. They know that success is rarely solitary, and you do not need to stake a claim in every single victory.
It is easy to believe that your speech at last year’s conference somehow single-handedly lit a fire under the sales team or the intern you mentored ten years ago succeeded simply because of your influence.
Although your experience is important, success consists of many ingredients: personal development and growth certainly play a key role, but it also involves great responsibility from the team around you — be mindful.
A good leader is best when people barely know he exists, not so great as they either love or hate him.
According to Lao Tzu, The best type of leader is one of whose existence the people are barely aware. When his work is done and his aims fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”
The next best is a leader who is loved and praised…
Next comes the one whom they fear…
That is authentic, selfless leadership. You always focus on elevating others, not yourself or your status!
4. Admit that not everything makes sense
As leaders, we seek cause-and-effect relationships. We seek to find cause-and-effect links between our behaviour and the outcomes we encounter.
But, sometimes, things happen for reasons we cannot understand and are beyond our control.
Recognize that sometimes fate will intervene instead of you losing sleep trying to figure out the meaning behind every result. From now on, this acceptance will save you from the automatic response of fabricating false connections between purely your doing and outer occurrences.
You will not waste your time trying to solve the unsolvable; you will focus more on what is in control.
What Good Leaders Are Made Of — Humility and Self-Awareness
Being humble is the last piece to kick away the illusion of control. Great leaders know that they are leading success, not claiming victory. They could see that leadership is a shared responsibility, and by doing so, they can grow an organization where teams collaborate to learn & innovate.
The next time you catch yourself — or a fellow leader — waving that metaphorical red hat, ask: Am I the one getting in between this moment and letting our group free-range their way to success?
Or Am I Just Deceiving Myself Into Thinking Something Happened Because Of What I Said?
Leadership is self-awareness
As Jim Collins writes in Good to Great, “Level 5 leaders channel their ego needs away from themselves and into the larger goal of building a great company.”
In reality, the best thing you can do to become a more effective leader is to be humble and give others space for their work.
Conclusion
The Fallacy of Control plagues many leaders, but by recognising it for what it is and working through how to tame the beast as a leader, you will lead with much more self-awareness and humility.
Admit you are not everything, update the old stories that hold us in place, and stop seeking recognition for everything—some things are greater than words.
Always remember that leadership isn’t about doing everything on your own. It’s also about appreciating and acknowledging the work of those around you while leading them to success.
So, when you next catch sight of a leader with their cap blowing in the wind, grab them and tell yourself that there is a whole world beyond the artificial one they are living inside.
